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Blog

Tension held the room

7/12/2015

14 Comments

 
Bob became an avid fan of all kinds of my music over the next weeks.

The nurses told me he asked when I would be coming in and made sure he was dressed and ready for my arrival.

One Saturday I arrived to find him surrounded by his family in the great room. The Hospice social worker had briefed me that his adult children weren't speaking to each other and that his wife, disabled and in a wheelchair, was often abrupt and grumpy.

Tension held the room.

No one was talking except Bob and his wife. Bob looked up when I entered.

"Oh, Robin," he said. Then he turned to the rest of the group. "This is the House musician." No one moved a muscle except to briefly look at me, and then return to their downcast, blank stares. I could feel anxiety creep over me. I wanted to excuse myself and escape.

Here was a situation where I came to give my patient music but there were others present. As a CMP my work is patient-centered. And the family members charged the room with negativity. What would you do in this situation? Escape, like I wanted to?
14 Comments
Frances Johnson
5/21/2015 02:36:50 am

I would have started playing some thing I had played before for the patient and see what happened.

Reply
Robin
5/22/2015 02:19:45 am

I think you will enjoy what happens.........it even surprised me! In a way I did what you suggest......

Reply
Kathleen Pooler link
5/21/2015 04:45:17 am

Robin, I think I would try to block out the others and focus on the patient. Easier said than done but I can see you doing this.

Also, I want to tell you I have been following your vignettes and am hooked into your story. Keep the music coming!

Reply
Robin
5/22/2015 02:21:27 am

In a way I did block out the others, but it was hard to do so, as you said. Wait til you see what happens!

Glad you enjoy the 10 second Thursday thread!

Reply
Lisette de Groot
5/21/2015 05:51:17 am

You could have told the family members if they would like to leave the room before starting to play. See what happens.
Since they stayed did they seem a little more relaxed afterwards?
I can imagine how you must have felt. Good luck next time.

Reply
Robin Gaiser
5/22/2015 02:23:07 am

I wish I could have asked the grumpy family to leave the room, but in a sense I was the guest! Wait until you read what happens!

Reply
Susan Wayland
5/21/2015 09:44:42 am

Ha, Ha, Robin! You wanted to flee but I bet you didn't! I would have pulled out a bottle of wine and handed glasses to the grumpy relatives! No, just kidding, I wouldn't have thought to bring wine to a hospice situation! I'm sure you played and they behaved (?)

BTW, Sherry Adams emailed me recently and said she loves your Thursday posts.

Reply
Robin Gaiser
5/22/2015 02:24:36 am

No wine in that case but when you read my book there is a funny/touching story relating to the issue of alcohol.

Yes, I did stay but wait til you read what happens!

Reply
Mary Young
5/21/2015 09:55:11 am

I'm sure you played for the patient as well as the family. I'm also sure that it helped relax everyone and made all feel more at peace.

Reply
Robin Gaiser
5/22/2015 02:25:33 am

You are right ..I stayed and things changed. Wait until you read just how it happened!

Reply
Sandy Hitzhusen
5/23/2015 03:23:17 pm

PRAY like mad!!!--and avoid the sing-along "If You're Happy and You Know It . . . ".

After 8 wks in the hospital, our 23-mo-old granddaughter already looks forward to Tues's music therapy day. She will remain in the pediatric unit for many months fighting a rare infection. The therapist knows her by name and is a blessing to her little soul. Praise God for the gift of music and the people who deliver it!

Reply
Robin
5/26/2015 06:45:30 am

Hi Sandy.......am disturbed of news of your young granddaughter. Adding her to prayers.

Music is the best healing tool! And I did PRAY and go ahead with music for the tensions filled room. What happened is amazing! Stay tuned.

Reply
norma bradley link
5/26/2015 12:30:39 am

Music is the healer and I am quite sure you played through the dilemma and it helped the entire family. Wonderful work you do. Enjoying your posts and music

Reply
Robin
5/26/2015 06:46:41 am

Norma, you are right on, but wait until you see what happened to this situation, this family! Amazing.......

Reply



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